Sacrifice: worship at a cost

I'm back!  Crazy that once I gave writing (aka blogging) another chance, I'm hooked again.  My hope is that this can be a safe place.  I'm not ignorant, I  know this is the Internet and nothing is safe.  By safe, I mean a place where I can be a blessing, an encouragement to those who take a moment to read.  But also a place where I can be honest, genuine, and just be me, whatever that may mean.
The first month of 2012 has already been very eye-opening.  Although I've always had the "head knowledge" that God is supposed to be my life, not just a PART of my life, that He comes first in all I do, and that everyONE and everyTHING should take a backseat to Him and His will, I rarely, if ever, have truly grasped that.  Although I never would have admitted it, I have lived most of my Christian life with the mindset that as long as there was a "Christian" living less Holy than I, than I was okay.  And as long as the things taking up my time and energy weren't "sinful" things, they were okay. 

God has gently shown me and somewhat pushed me to rearrange my priorities.  While I still had a newborn, life was easy.  (If only my 6-month-ago-self knew this!)  He ate and slept.  I spent time praying and in the word, time exercising, time cleaning, and sometimes cooking, haha.  As my Jude grew and became more aware, mobile, and curious, it was oh so easy to lean on him as an excuse as to why I was not zealous momma I had been before.  How on earth could anyone expect me to care for him, my house, my health, my husband, and my Heavenly Father all at once?!?!

Well, God (for the time, anyway) didn't expect all of that from me.  He expected me to give my best.  And I have now seen that "my best" is not working out, caring for Jude, keeping my house in order, getting dinner on the table at 5 o'clock, and muttering a quick prayer if I had a convenient moment.  Most mothers would find that commendable.  But God deserves more of me.
My best is sacrifice.  Several years ago in preparing a sermon for a Wednesday night service, 2 Samuel 24:24 struck a chord with me.  "However, the king said to Araunah 'No, but I will surely buy it from you for a price, for I will not offer burnt offerings to the LORD my God which cost me nothing.'..."  I know by the shed blood of Jesus, we no longer have to offer burnt offerings.  But our lives need to be constantly worshipping and glorifying our Creator.  And although Araunah was willing to give David the threshing floor to build an altar and the oxen for the offering, David insisted on buying it.  He refused to give God leftovers.  I must choose the way David chose.

In no way are exercising, cooking, cleaning, caring for my family, running errands, etc. sinful activities.  But they all MUST take a backseat when they interfere with the will of God.  I realize there is not enough time in the world to give God what He deserves from me.  But when I obey and seek Him before all these other tasks, He makes what time I give effective and powerful.  Yes, my house is a little messier than I like it.  My body is a little mushier than I prefer.  And my meals are lacking the "shazaam" I like for them to have.  But I have a home, a beating heart and breathing lungs, and food on my table.  Most importantly, by the grace of God, I have ears that hear His voice, and am being taught and renewed daily.  Are you?

-rian 

SIMPLIFY

I've done it.  I've started a blog.  Who'd have thunk it? 
Writing has always been a release for me and my most comfortable form of communication, so here are my thoughts, my heart, put into words...

Lately, I seem to be hearing one word in my spirit: simplify.  Today I think I had the "aha!" moment as to why it's been that word. 

If you don't know me well, I am ridiculously analytical.  I read into everything.  I make things far more complicated than they need to be.  I feel this is a blessing, but if not kept in check, it acts more like a curse.  I read Scripture and mull it over and over.......and over.  I hear a sermon and pick it to the bone.  I listen to a prophetic word and question the heart of the "prophet."  While none of these acts are necessarily wrong, I am realizing I am robbing myself of some potentially amazing "God moments" by letting my mind get in the way.

The well-known verse: "Be still and know that I am God..." (Psalm 46:10) comes to mind.  I often, like many people, applied this verse to when my life had gone in a tail-spin, and I needed the kind of comfort that only came from God Himself.  However, I am currently seeing this verse in a new light.  I am being reminded to still my mind and remember the basic truth that God is God!  The rest of this verse states: "...I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth."  I must get back to the basics.  Yes, I should study, use discernment, seek wisdom... but I should not let those things get in the way of holding tight to THE TRUTH.  God is love.  Jesus is Lord.  HE WILL BE EXALTED AMONG THE NATIONS.  This is truth, and truth always wins.

-rian